Serendipity
by okami009
Summary: Sly Traveled to the remote volcano to take down his final foe...but found out a bit of diplomacy was worth the effort. Alternate ending to Sly Cooper and the Thevius Racoonus.


-1

…

"…but…why?"

This stopped Clockwerk's train of thought as the two hovered above the lava. "…say what?"

"Why would you hate my family for generations?"

"Well, er, because I do, that's why?"

"Oh, no. You're not getting away with that," the raccoon perched himself the volcano wall, crossing his arms rather with a rather annoyed expression on his face. "Come on, all grudges start with something substantial, like betrayal or murder. So come on, let's hear it. I'm sure there's plenty of people who want to know."

Suddenly, the eyes on the ancient bird became filled with something else. Those who were staring at the fight, namely Carmelita and Sly's friends, changed their gaze from that of fear and anger to confusion and curiosity. What was this old owl's beef anyways?

Clockwerk suddenly developed a rather nasty knot in his robotic stomach. "U-uh…well…"

(Approx. 12,000 B.C., location unknown)

"Take care, honey!" Nigel waved off to his beloved as she traveled into the night to find more supplies for their incoming newborns. His kind was a noble and humble breed of owl, living mainly solitary lives until about once every fifty years when they come overwrought with an insatiable need to breed with another bird. The genes would take over and automatically make the next in line that of Nigel's blood. Unfortunately, his breed, due to this nature of mating only once every 200 years, had led to his kind being very sparse. In fact, he was the only one of his kind that he knew of existed. Nevertheless, he vowed his love to a kind and caring barn owl, and they made their nest in the hole of an old oak tree.

This particular night was one when he was on watch duty over the only egg in his nest. Unfortunately for his breed of owl, they could only produce one egg at a time, so their numbers could not drastically increase. And also because of this time it takes to breed, you can imagine how resilient they would be to evolution. Despite this, Nigel waited patiently and guarded the shell with all his concentration. That is, until the day began to break and he lost his focus. He was naturally nocturnal, of course, so he couldn't help but doze off.

It was at this moment that the raccoon a few meters away decided to make his move. The bird made the poor choice of nesting low enough to the ground for him to climb up, and climb up he did. He also managed to snatch up the old bird's only egg from the nest. What a find! This egg would manage to feed the raccoon's family for an entire week! He was about to climb down and head off to the cave that his family resided when he thought badly of taking the owl's only hatch. Then a brilliant idea popped into the cave-coon's head. He slid by the trunk of the tree and took out some mashed berries he found on the way here. Using their ink and bizarre coloring, he made a particular symbol in his own countenance that acted as an I.O.U. He dashed off with the large egg, feeling giddy about himself for "borrowing" the supply of food. Imagine Nigel's surprise when his only egg was gone and the only thing to find was a peculiar symbol near the base of his tree.

(Approx. 2000 B.C, Egypt)

The depression of loosing his only egg ages ago still hurt, but he felt convinced that he would be able to make it right this time. He nestled into the side of the canyon wall, his egg now belonging to him and a wonderful falcon from around the area. He was about ready to call it a night when the canyon wall burst open, revealing the tomb-stealing raccoon that had been thieving from an old cave that had become the center of an old gang's hideout. "Farewell, meatheads!" he shouted, as he dashed out into the open air, opened up the cloth he kept for just such an occasion, and glided away. Poor Nigel was knocked unconscious and thrown to the sandy floor. He was big and light enough that he took little damage, but his egg wasn't so lucky.

(500 A.D., The Kingdom of Wales)

Ok, surely he would get it right this time. Nothing would get in his way. Nothing except the raccoon in shining armor that came in the middle of the night to steal his egg and take it off to some fair maiden who offered her love in exchange for an incredibly rare gift. He has kind enough to mark the tree with the sign his family had been using for generations, though.

(1400 A.D., Florence, Italia)

Needed his egg for a special ingredient in an experimental process to prove the world was round. When it failed, the yolk was instead used as a gift to appeal to a young mistress of the Raccoon's choosing. At the very least, the marking was instead done in paint rather than berries or whatever.

(1800 A.D., The Wild West)

His egg was used as a substitute to rip off a guy who mistook it for actual gold.

(Present day)

"ALL I EVER WANTED WAS A FAMILY, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?" The metallic bird was bawling his eyes out; almost literally, since his glowing eyes were only attached by a few wires and bolts. Sly cautiously put a hand on the old owl's wing, trying to comfort him into a reasonable position. Really, he was feeling incredibly awkward from seeing his father's killer sob all over the place and whine like a crybaby. "Uh, I'm really sorry about that, sir."

"SORRY?" Clockwerk became enraged at the notion of The Cooper Clan's pity. "I ONLY NEED FOR YOU AND YOUR FOOLISH KIND TO BE WIPED FROM THE EARTH, THEN I CAN FINALLY LIVE IN PEACE OF MIND!" He soared up into the air, charging up the energy in his eyes directly at the young raccoon, who threw up his hands in defense. "wait, wait, wait, maybe we can work something out-"

"I NEED ONLY TO DESTROY YOU AND YOUR INSIDIOUS BOOK TO BE CLEAN OF YOUR FILTH!"

"Wait, hang on. Say that again?"

Clockwerk's concentration faltered. "What, the 'destroy you' part?"

"No, no, after that."

"'clean of your filth?'"

"Before that."

"'you and your insidious book'…?"

The gears started to roll in Sly's brain. "Actually, I think I see a way I can do that without you killing me."

"…really?"

(15 minutes later)

Sly added a few quick swirls to his signature and underlined the cursive letters. He held up the pages of the ancient book and read aloud the words so that Clockwerk was sure of the spelling and grammar. Sly was never really that great at English, so it helped to have a 20,000 year-old bird who has learned and heard every language spoken and read that ever existed to help you out.

"…and thus, the cooper clan is forbid to harm any manner of creature belonging to the genus, _Tyto Eternus_, and shall never steal or attempt to steal any manner of offspring from them ever again. Sly Cooper."

"…You spelled my genus wrong."

"Eh, close enough. I failed third grade, anyway." Why learn anything when your best friend memorized the quadratic equation when he was five, anyways? "Well, that should just about do it. Sorry that my family has caused you so much trouble."

The owl shrugged. "Eh, let bygones be bygones. It's over now, anyways. Might as well get on with life now."

"So, uh, what are you going to do now?" Sly was curious about Clockwerk's future, not wanting to mess it up for the umpteenth time.

"Oh, I got a job offer as a tour guide to the Smithsonian Museum down in Washington D.C. Plus, I've got a nice-looking Harpy Eagle who's had a nice batch of eggs just about ready to hatch. I should really give up on this whole, 'evil incarnate' thing. It wouldn't bode well with the kids, you know. After that, I guess I'll live out until they've got grandkids of their own and finally kick the bucket. Living forever isn't exactly healthy for the body, even if it's all made of machinery."

"Alright, then. Well, Carmelita's probably going to be chasing me soon, so I better get going. If I'm ever in D.C., I'll be sure to drop by."

Clockwerk nodded approval and stuck out his metallic foot. Sly reached out and shook it firmly, turning around and walking off while the ancient bird waved his final farewell to the curse of the Cooper Clan.

"So, how'd it go?" Bentley inquired as sly closed the door to the van and the three of them drove away. He'd been gone for what seemed like hours and hadn't called in his Binoc-u-com in even longer. Needless to say, Murray and Bentley were worried about what happened with him and the old bird.

"Turns out he's a pretty nice guy, actually. Promised to make my family stop hunting him and he wouldn't be killing any of us. Just added a page into the old page-turner and we're set."

"…really?"

"yeah, really."

"…really, _really?_"

"Bentley."

"Okay, okay, just wanted to make sure things were all squared away." The van drove on in awkward silence, interrupted only by the odd gurgles and moans coming from their driver. "Hey, Murray, you ok big guy?"

"oooouuuuggghhh…" The pink hippo was absolutely green with sickness, "I really shouldn't have eaten that snack. Don't let hunger get to you next time, Murray…" They had to pull over to let their comrade puke his guts out several times. "really shouldn't have tried dunking that jelly doughnut in raw egg."

"…Wait, you don't mean…"


End file.
